My Dream Job (Can I please work like this?!)

I was filling out this questionnaire from school website about job prospect and stuff, that promised to pay $10 grocery shop voucher upon completion. I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to take it! 

I was doing this endless survey for about 20 minutes? or so I felt, and I came to this open-ended question section.

Basically it asked me to describe what kind of work life I visualize of myself. At first, this question seemed rather daunting. I didn't even know specifically what I would want to be, and what kind of job would suit me. But after a while, I could write down few things, and it was:

" I am a successful animal assisted therapist who handles children's psychopathology. I have flexible timetable, so I don't work at all in the morning. My work starts from 2pm after lazy breakfast. I work only four days a week, and sometimes I can take the whole two months off. I also make bags by painting on them, and make things with sewing machine such as cushion, curtain, pillow case, pencil case and so on. I sell the surplus ones on weekend every other week. It gives me decent pay because I have become famous around the town and people are always queuing to buy my products. My goods are sold out in 1 hour and I earn $1000 every other week from these goods sales. 

My life is good, and I'm very satisfied with my work life. "

http://fistfuloftalent.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/dream-job-now.jpg

After I showed this to my bf, he was laughing so hard. And I laughed hard too, for some reasons. 

I mean honestly, even on this, I am not entirely sure whether I want to become a therapist. I want to have a job that lets me have a really free life. Certainly I don't want to wake up at 7am to go to work. And I want a job that would let me go around in different countries. More specifically I'm thinking I want to live in different places every 5 years. How beautiful is that? Just choosing the next spot, leaving everything behind for the better or worse! Feeling this and that in different places I always wanted to live in. I mean, it's just because I don't really like travelling somewhere for a week. I don't feel anything. To me, what really matters is having a glimpse of life there. How it feels to actually wake up everyday there, spend the whole day there for a few months to years.

http://theundercoverrecruiter.com/wp-content/uploads/dream-job.png

So for my job to be really free, I kind of narrowed it down to work related to internet. However, the downside to that is, I don't really like computer that much. I just don't feel that good sitting in front of the computer. (I do it, yes, but it's just that it doesn't make me feel good after I've done it.)

So I wonder what I can do. 

I asked my bf about it, about calling, and whether I should actively search for my calling or just live a life without thinking much into it, and let it come when it shall come. 

He answered: 'It's Calling. You listen to it.'

Sounds pretty right to me. And feels pretty good too! At least I get a short term relief from searching it. 


How about you? What is your dream job?

Total Recall the Experience Machine

I recently watched the popular movie 'Total Recall' on the plane, and I was pretty amused.

http://www.cavemag.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/total-recall-poster-670.jpg

I can't remember most part of the story, but the part where his memory was replaced (which is the main point of the whole movie). The reason why I found it fascinating is because it reminded me of the quite famous philosophical thought-experiment 'Experience Machine'.

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXJkUyt02L-913c60mii4vfc8_WTBKRFF1N6ImLZO-4hKQ_-OHBLElk6W4C4Q7K7tgupeobRffW29qLvlREG5K4roCAvvT6-OUF8C1b47OmmMIYbZjM16XIOQossbWh4c4cDYqW2EKtNg/s1600/the_happiness_machine_by_tris31-d37ajkp.jpg

So what is experience machine? 

If I'm recalling the facts correctly, it is a machine that you can step inside at your own will and it will create all the happy moments- artificial happy moments. The catch is once you are in, you totally forget that you are inside the machine, and that in fact, all those people that you meet, all the things that you think are happening in your life, are mere digital bytes and particles. They do not exist any where in actual world, but only in their head. They also cannot get out once they are in. 


And I can still remember in the lecture, prof asked people to raise their hands if they are willing to step inside this machine. I was one of the few who did, and I must say I was surprised as much as they must have been surprised. 

The people who were not willing to get inside, basically said, it's because those things are not real. Thus, they don't mean anything. 

However, I wondered, and I still wonder, then, what is real, and what is truth?

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS9sWN8KypntL4c3M8cuDM1XeG0UHz5BLD8_WbBizNnb6clWgK1viD6jzTouxTkqa5h1Nn2ORzIzckT24M6jMaUtFwar5EuQl5hYVPYG8ikN_MDaav2OC3IGUUKJeG82c0czPAQIoI_w/s1600/What-is-truth.jpg

For the person who is inside the machine, the reality is no longer the self that's lying down in the machine; the reality is their happy fun life they are enjoying. And there will be no way to find out that actually it's all fake. 

Then, isn't that the truth as long as that's what they believe in?



Coincidentally, at that time I was also experiencing one of the toughest lows in my life. So honestly, I was even a bit disappointed to realize that experience machine actually does not exist. 

Now I don't wish for experience machine or anything like that in particular, but really.. Is it that horrible to escape from the dreadful life and step into sweet future? Is it that much of a coward? I mean, is the happiness NOT WORTH the cowardice? 

I know, theoretically people will say truth is worth more than fake happiness. But how about in real life? Is it still? 

I wonder.

My Love of Life- Ppungi

Let me introduce you my lovely bubbly puppy Ppungi. Well I don't know whether I can call her 'puppy' since she is already 12 years old now, but to me, she will always be a cute pup Ppungi. Actually even though she's been with our family for 12 years, we haven't exactly been the closest friends from the start. 

Because of my pretty intense dog allergy (which seems to be subsiding now) when I was 10, we had to give away ppungi to our grandmother who was living near our house. So although we visited her often, Ppungi and I didn't get close. She will only come near me when I was holding anything remotely edible. (still somewhat true)

However, as we started living together in one house, (even though I only go back home for about three months a year) our relationship dramatically improved and now I finally realize what it means to live with a life partner who is not a human. And because of Ppungi, I am even considering to become an animal-assisted therapist, a type of psychotherapist that heals patients with animals. Of course, Ppungi's too old for the intense training, but she taught me first hand how interacting with animals can heal your soul. 

Knowing that there is somebody who will always welcome you when you get back home, somebody who will sleep next to you when you feel lonely at night (although she doesn't really do that to me)...

She teaches me that love is possible even without any form of verbal communication. Although we can't tell each other our thoughts and feelings, language is not everything. Without any words, you can feel the warmth. And I'm sure many of pet owners would empathize with me.

Of course, there will be pain when she leaves me. But just because of that pain which, strictly speaking, is natural, I feel it's too much of waste to let go such happiness being with animal. Everyone has different thoughts and maybe mine will change over time, but considering what kind of joy and love I receive from Ppungi, this memory will stay with me, and that is enough for me.

Lastly, I really recommend people suffering from depression to consider adopting a pet. (But of course, you have to be responsible to take care of your pet.) Having such a love-filled creature near you can definitely help you find happiness from life. Personally, one of my friend's depression has also improved dramatically, and she loves her dog dearly. 
Also if you feel like you can't find love from other people, and that you wish to end your life because it seems meaningless, you may also consider spending time with pet who will love you.


So these are few clips of my lovely Ppungi that I love so much. (sorry for my voice! And also her fur is slightly disorganized because my grandma trims it herself.)

<Lower your volume!>

Look at her! Isn't she adorable?? She looks like a calm artist. She used to tilt her head whenever she hears strange sound when she was young, but as dogs grow old, it gets more and more scarce. This one is so cute-vely! 

This is like her default mode of lying on her back. My bf keeps on telling me that it's just an act of defensive, not that she actually enjoys being stroked on her belly. But who cares about a blind-with-jealous guy's opinion! :)

It's been a while since Ppungi took a walk since it was cold outside, but we finally did, and she is super duper excited!
She loves taking a walk, and sometimes she will just gaze through the window sitting on the balcony. She had a blast this day. :) When she was younger she took such joy in intimidating other dogs, but as she grew older, she became more respectable. 

Finally, I was recording my grandma's stretching routine because after I leave Korea, I wanted to follow it. Ppungi who was sitting quietly next to me, started playing with grandma's legs, and it was so funny! Whenever I watch this one and other videos of Ppungi's attack, I keep on cracking!


war war! Ppungi says bye! :) 

Phobia of Death?

These are separate tracks of thoughts I had whenever I came across the idea of death. 

In my Japanese Studies class, the professor told us how Japan had constantly moved capital after each emperor's death until they settled in at Nara. 

Of course, there were many reasons leading up to these events, but one of the reasons the Prof mentioned, and stuck in my head was that traditional Japanese used to equate death to pollution, taboo: indicating, the more important person dies, the more pollution it is. 
This kind of trend is seen in many other cultures as well.

We, humans, have such violent reaction against death. Even though the prospect of death is something expected, like say, your hair growing, we still can't accept it as natural part of us, probably for so-called self-protection reason.

However, putting our common sense aside, let's consider other views of death.

Recently in developmental psychology I was learning about development of fetus, and one interesting thing came up: apoptosis, defined as genetically programmed cell death. Certain cells die selectively, as constant companion to other developmental processes. For example, fingers are produced as the result of apoptosis in the hand area. In this sense, death is regarded as totally natural part of our life that quite ironically starts from our birth.

Birth and death is inseparable.

Lastly, linking up nicely from the previous sentence, my father had told me long long time ago about how some Buddhist or other religious people view death. They actually see it as the same of giving birth. 
According to them, babies still inside mother's womb resist coming out to the world because they are afraid. They think they are dying, since they think coming out to the real world for them is going to end their life. However, that's not the way we see it, right? For us, it is, in fact, the beginning of our real life. 
Of course, this statement has no empirical support whatsoever, but just an opinion of other kinds of people out there. And I really like this idea. It comforts me. For us, death is something horrible and something we do not ever want to happen to us. However, if we see death in this perspective, it can be seen as the mere transition period into the new beginning.

Even though we may not remember anything about us when we were in the womb, we still regard that fetus as us. Can the same thing apply? When we die, we may not remember having been a human living on Earth, but isn't that still us, just like the way we are still the same person or self as the fetus?


I don't know. This is all confusing. But I like thinking in that way. And after having recently watched The Island, I am thinking, to us, is The Island our death?

(Finally) Enjoying University!

I used to be a university hater big time. The pathetic part was that I was blaming the university, not me for not having provided the fun university experiences. However, after having realized one simple trick, I got to at least enjoy my university life with so much less stress. And it's so simple!

The trick: Stop doing the things that people tell you to do.

Do it only if YOU want to do it. Decide for yourself whether you like doing it or want to do it, for yourself, by yourself. Don't let others decide whether you should do this or not, despite of your individual preference if you are ready to be responsible with your actions.

For me, growing up in a fairly typical Asian family, I just followed what my mom told me to do obediently. I naively thought she would take care of everything and neglected thinking for myself. In fact, it was more convenient since you didn't have to be responsible with your decisions. However, when I came to university, which she had previously promised would secure everything, or anything I needed, I found out, in fact, it was a whole lot of different story. I was all on my own. It was new, and it felt scary.

I mean, don't get me wrong. I really thank my mom, for having given me such instructions. University is important (at least to me) and I am glad I made it this far. But what I should have done earlier was also to live for my own happiness and joy. Mine had been pretty much delayed (unless it came incidentally) until I was in university. And I realized now it was not my mom who was ordering me to do this and that, but myself who had gotten so used to putting stress on my own shoulder. 

And now that I'm making decisions solely for myself, my world became colorful. 

http://wall.alphacoders.com/big.php?i=30245

It's not like all of a sudden, I don't feel overwhelmed by the workload and play all day long. I still do feel like there are lots of things to do and I do my work on time. However, now those things comprise only a small part of my life and I fill up the rest with the things I like doing, be it just hanging out, visiting museums/parks, or even doing nothing! 

Last semester was the first time I actually put this into practice. My bf who was observing me all the while, was telling me how cunning I was (jokingly) to just cram before the test, and so on. But whatever it was, I had such a wonderful semester, really enjoying my life and my youth, feeling my own limits and capabilities. Surprisingly, although I was so happy and stress-free, the results were not so bad, compared to the times when I was so stressed out to the point where I just wanted to leave the school and live a life of a waitress in a remote island or something like that.  

Maybe the point was that, I only learned what I wanted to learn. When there were interesting things from the course, I would be absorbed, discussing this issue and just having fun learning fascinating things. And that felt much more worthwhile than stressing myself and having wasted another potentially pleasant semester learning things that I will quite certainly forget after exams. (yes, that was the way I was 'learning'!)

http://favim.com/image/421955/

Anyways, having fun at university won't result in such horrible situation as long as you were responsible enough. All I'm saying is, there is no point unnecessarily stressing yourself.

Hope this posting helped anyone who is currently going through what I was going through a year ago. 

Happy semester everyone :) 

Tip to Curing Addiction

I have always been a person who is easily addicted by this and that. 

In terms of computer: celebrity news checking, Tekken, mainly Tetris, having been the worst addiction ever because it also brought about semi-chronic terrible shoulder pain.

In terms of food: chocolate(Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bar especially), rather expensive Sushi shop, Froot Loops, the cereal, and so on. 

And I'm proud to declare that I have either overcome those addictions or have kept them at manageable level, without having gone through major cold turkey, if any.

My tip?

Very simple. (when it comes to saying at least)

Don't try to suppress the desires. What I have learned through experience is, the more you suppress desires, the worse it gets back at you. For a very short period of time, you will think as if it's working great. But suppression never works. Instead, it just worsens the situation later, like a binge eating cycle. 

The right way to go is by substitution. Simply substitute those activities with likable and healthier ones. When it comes to what's healthy, I am sure you can decide it wisely enough. However, the crucial point here is that the substituting activity or thing should be 'likable' enough to keep you away from those (personally deemed) unhealthy behaviors. 

In my case, I substituted all the computer-related activities to blogging. It naturally kept my mind off those other activities without me having to force myself. Even though I sometimes check celebrity news or play Tetris, it's never to the point where I lose control of myself like last time.
Somehow because I know there is more worthwhile and fun activity waiting for my attention, I don't feel like wasting my time on those other activities. It even makes me wonder if all this while, I was, in fact, waiting to find an activity that would be fun and worthy, and that those addictions have been a transition period.

http://www.dailyperricone.com/2010/08/forever-young-fruit-to-the-rescue/fruit-and-yogurt/

For food, one thing is just don't cut the amount forcibly. I don't know, at least for me, it came back to me as a snowball. Instead, search for something that's healthy and yummy. For me, I substituted all those desserts and others to homemade yogurt, fruits like cherries and after meal green tea. I found out that actually when I craved those food, it was because after meal, I felt like eating something refreshing. So instead of indulging in chocolate, I found a substitute that was equally yum and healthy, and now, even though I do eat chocolates sometimes, I never feel like I am losing control. And going back to healthier choices has become a natural course.

http://www.medicalinsider.com/psychology.html

But perhaps most important part that was missing above is to be as stress-free as possible, since being stressed somehow can lead you to more self-destructive acts. (been there, done that)

And now that I am free of those addictions(which I previously have never imagined would come true) it feels even happier that I have control over myself and that I am putting energy on the things that I myself agree have value.

Hopefully this entry could help at least one person who is currently fighting agiainst unhealthy addictions in their life!

The Simple Life (Really?)

http://fanart.tv/artist/dcb03ce3-67a5-4eb3-b2d1-2a12d93a38f3/king-bb/

Today I was just talking to my bf over lunch, and he was telling me how he loved B. B. King, the King of Blues. He told me what made that guy the best was not so much about technique, but more on the feel; he could just play one note and knock down everyone. 

That reminded me of the topic I was thinking about since some time ago. When I was learning oil painting, I had told my teacher that I wanted to focus on abstract painting, and that the last thing I wanted to do was to paint an object just like the way it looked. To me, drawing something that looked exactly like a real object carried no meaning. Instead, I wanted to use painting as the channel of self-expression. So I asked her if I could skip the tedious process of learning how to draw 'well'. However, the teacher disagreed with me that the greatest abstract painters ever alive started from the basics, too, and that even when it comes to mere self-expression, you have to go through the journey of being able to draw 'well'. Only after being able to do that, you can truly draw without being bogged down by the technique. I kinda understood what she meant without exactly knowing the logic. I kinda let the thought sip in. 

After that, I encountered other examples, such as the best pasta being the one with the least ingredients, and a true Karate master transcending all kinds of form. 

These led me to wondering if the ultimate answer (of life even) was 'simplicity'.

Was simplicity the answer that was waiting at the end of the journey of our life? The first thing that came to my mind was the Buddhist monks, whose job, among others, was to meditate; just simply sitting there and thinking of nothing. Next, I thought about those people who threw away all their worldly possessions, positions and what not, and retracted from society to go back to the woods, of self-sufficient simple life, reducing material desires to mere survival needs.

http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/the-simple-life/images/214821/title/simple-life-wallpaper

I don't know whether this is true, (and I may never) but if it was, the only thing I know is that I haven't got there yet. For me to abandon all the extra accessories that brighten up my life (occasional luxurious food, foot reflexology, pretty bags, etc.) is still a far away land story. However, I will not force myself to be anyone else. I will just let this journey last until the end, since it is inevitable to get to the end without going through it, where I will finally find a peace of mind from simple life.

Me & My Other Self

This post relates back to the metaphysics class I took one year ago. I hardly understood what went on in the class just like most of my classmates, (maybe, maybe not) but one concept really interested me: concept of personal identity.

There were mainly three theories on personal identity, philosophers had come up with, and the debate is still ongoing.

* Main Theories

I kind of forgot the exact terms and exact explanations but this is what I remember: (shows how effectively knowledge-acquiring system of university worked!)


1. Bodily Continuity Theory
As long as the body remains the same, it's the same person.

> problem: What if the body was swapped? (Classic philosophical thought experiment) The persistence that the same looking person with different memory and way of thinking is the same person is rather counter-intuitive.

2. Soul Theory 
The core of personal identity lies on the soul's existence. Even when the body was swapped or you died, the soul remains the same and thus, it's the same person, you.

> problem: There is no way to make sure that the soul really exists, thus, weakening the whole theory since it cannot be proven otherwise.




3. Psychological Continuity Theory 
As long as the person remembers their own past, it is the same person. This theory also allows the case whereby though the old man cannot remember the young baby's psychology, if he can remember the younger man, who could remember the younger baby, and so on, it is consistent with the theory.

* My personal Pick

My personal favorite was psychological continuity theory because it just felt like the most logical option so far. I was so sure that the memory of the past is the one that constructs the person you are, and therefore, should be considered as the essence of someone's identity. 

But what if the span of remembering your older self was much shorter than expected? Even within the range of a couple of years to months?

That was what I had found out.

One sunny day I happened to accidentally read my past writings and I have to admit, I was so shocked to find out that I had written such things, and that I had thought of such ideas. I couldn't believe it was me who had written them. They just seemed so foreign to me, as if I was seeing myself from the mind of different person, like having different selves within myself. The thing is those writings were not even done long time ago; maybe just a couple of years back.

That brought about some sort of theory shock for a while. If the span of remembering your older self is that short, does this theory still hold out? I mean, there is nothing wrong with the theory per se since I am sure my older self about two years ago whom I can remember, does remember having written such things. However, the short span does suggest that within a surprisingly short time, it is also possible for someone to hold radically different thoughts on various fields. Would that still be considered as the entirely same person? 

In fact, is there really such thing as identity that holds the person together consistently? I mean I know I'm still me alright, but I revisited the previous idea that it's the past that determines who we are.


This awareness got me remembering a quote from Emerson's Self-Reliance:

“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” 

My interpretation of this quote in relation to the finding: since humans are simply not consistent by nature, (though we tend to wrongly assume so), there is no point being held down by the kind of person you used to be. Instead, we should simply be the person that we want to be with spontaneity and flexibility.

Losing weight while not losing weight!

http://www.modernweightlosstips.com/weight-loss-methods/how-to-lose-weight-in-2013-12-323/

* History of my body image

My issue with body image has always been there since I was around 14 years old. Funny thing is when I was young, (meaning before 14) I used to hate eating so much so that my parents were always devising ways to make me eat more. My grandma would put a number on each side dish and make a game for me to eat them. My mom would stack up whole lot snacks just to get me eating. Ironically I rarely touched them because I couldn't be bothered to get up from the sofa to bring the snacks. (Believe it or NOT!) Naturally I was so thin that people called me cosmos, the flower. Well, gone are the days.. ;(

The fascinating part is I can clearly remember the day when my appetite emerged out of nowhere. (My mom mentioned that could have been due to the effect of chinese medicine which was designed to do exactly that) I was starting my 5th grade and all of a sudden, I began my love of food. Everything became delicious!

* Diet as Second nature

So following the due course, and especially with my mom's constant bickering that the beautiful life of young girl would only start when I become thin, going on a diet has become my second nature. Frankly speaking, I have never been fat or obese. Just around normal to slightly chubbiest range. Nevertheless, I was never really satisfied with my body image. Maybe I had distorted body image and probably, I still do to a certain extent. 

Hence, just like other girls around me, I would engage in various diet schedules. I would jog around house at night, do yoga in the morning, watch diet videos such as Claudia Schiffer's crazy workout video, etc. Decreasing the food intake was a must. Nothing would work without this last part. So I would eat two meals per day, and for dinner just three boiled sweet potatoes or microwaved cabbage. Looking back, I must have been pretty desperate. 

The thing was because I was near the ideal, I was more impatient. I just wanted to lose 5kg, and I thought just short-term temporary suffering would result in that much desired quick fix. But this rigorous, or sometimes, not even rigorous schedule will all falter either with one day just feeling so tired and disgusted (beyond the level of sick) about getting up to go jogging, or with the upcoming exam. Chocolate would be a treat for a hardworking self just a way too often a day. That round of diet would end, only for the next (vain) one to begin within a couple of months.

* Satisfaction

Breakthrough came when I met my current bf. I feel slightly shy talking about it, but I would definitely count it as one of the best blessings I've ever received in my life. He accepted everything about me. When I said everything, I meant everything: my cute, lovely self, my lazy self, and even my mean and selfish self that I have never shown to other people, not even my own family. Without using words, he showed me appearance could do only so much. Since his unconditional (or maybe conditional, who knows!) acceptance of myself, I slowly began to love myself the way I am. Of course, there were still ugly sides of me, but despite those humane flaws, I didn't want to trade my life for anyone else's. (More accurately, perhaps, stopped wanting) Since then, I stopped being stressed over my body image, and somehow, although I'm not sure if this is related to the advent of bf, I began to be more obsessed with healthy food. It felt good to eat healthy food because I loved myself, because I cared about myself. Anyways, I've never really enjoyed those fat dripping junks. Not my style. 

* Insomnia

Insomnia, that waxed and waned, has been a part of my life since I became a high schooler. Sometimes, over a few days, I would sleep at 9am when my eyes were just too tired to remain open. I hated having insomnia. It sucked. It felt so unhealthy, self-destructive. I was also fully aware that all the good hormones (especially weight-losing hormone!!) were released during sleep around 11am. It felt terrible to miss out all those freebies. Then, my bf told me yoga might help with sleeping. I didn't particularly want to move my body out of bed, but one day, when insomnia was unbearable and I had early morning schedule, I thought 'what would I lose, let's give it a try'. I used to do Ok Juhyun's one hour yoga video before, and I didn't enjoy it. I was always wishing it would end soon. But this time, since it wasn't like I was losing weight, or something, so I took it lightly and just followed the yoga sequence in my own pace- fast pace. I will do a posture and the moment it gets tiring, I'll just stop. After that, I had a good night's sleep. So doing yoga before I sleep became my evening ritual. Because it wasn't that hard, I could sustain this activity with ease. 

* Result

It was just unbelievable. After 4 months, I went back home for holiday, and family members and neighbors who saw me were all saying I became thinner and that my face became obviously less chubby. I was thinking it was all out of their courtesy to compliment me without meaning it, because I myself didn't see that much change. But when I went on the scale, I temporarily thought the scale was broken. I had suddenly lost 3-4kg! It was so so hard to lose even just a couple of kilograms when I was consciously on diet, and I was only wishing, oh, how nice would it be if the scale hand would go over just a bit to the left side. And it was happening!

* Lessons

http://www.earthtimes.org/health/mediterranean-diet-tests-prove-health-benefits/1633/

1. I realized that for one, stress and impatience is the enemy of losing weight. During the time I lost weight, I never ever looked at the scale because I was not interested and was not anticipating anything. Anyways, I didn't even own one. But apart from the stress of losing weight, I was also not particularly stressed about anything. I let go of the academic stress, not really of interpersonal stress, or anything. I was happy most of the days!

2. Another important factor I think was the continuation of exercise part. (If you'd call yoga 'exercise'..!) Because I didn't hate yoga, in fact, I loved the feeling of being more flexible, I was voluntarily getting the yoga mat out to do it with some nice music. It wasn't a chore for me, so I could do it everyday with joy. It was such an important learning point because I realized why I had failed numerous times before: I hated doing the exercise I was doing. Thus, the right way to go is to find an exercise that you truly enjoy. It doesn't have to be a vigorous one like basketball or even swimming. Just simple things that you can do everyday without forcing yourself.

3. Lastly, and most importantly, (though this may sound cliche) love yourself! For me, one effect of just being able to truly accept myself as the person I am, and wanting to make the best out of me, switching to healthy food choices was natural. I didn't want to destroy my body with food oozing out oil all over. Eating more vegetable and fruits with much less junks, manufactured food, and meat definitely helped. Thankfully, we were also cooking at home, and we were eating most of the time at home, so we could use healthy oil, healthy ingredients and low fat cooking style. On this, I wholeheartedly thank my bf for his awesome cooking skills!

All in all, I think I was lucky enough for all these components to have coincided in the single period. However, even though I have lost weight, mission complete, unlike last time, I am not going to stop this regime. What I truly wish is that this would just be part of my life. Nothing major, or anything, but something that makes me feel good everyday to follow. :)